Have y'all picking Red Delicious had ANY other variety of sweet red apple? The Red Delicious is like what if school paste was reincarnated as a fruit against its will. They are so bad many grocery stores don’t even carry them anymore due to customers leaving them to rot on the table in favor of going seven aisles down to buy a crisp new melamine sponge to jam into their child’s lunchbox instead. It was a secret experiment to see how gullible Americans are about produce and for DECADES we failed. By choosing it now, this mealy wad of disappointment that is inferior in flavor to a scratch-and-sniff sticker, you spit on the victory that has the Red Delicious finally dying in the dirt. You are offered a dazzling array of fruits with actual flavor and texture, and you are pointing at the thing on a child’s flash card that tastes like a child’s flash card and saying “I recognize that one as food, so I will eat it, I guess.” For God’s sake, let it die. It has no place in the better world we are trying to build. It was a mistake. It must be undone.
DID YOU KNOW Red Delicious apples were, once upon a time, actually delicious? They won a contest in the late 19th century, they were so good. They also originally had yellow stripes on them, but growers noticed that the uniformly red fruits were longer-lasting and shipped better. Unfortunately, the genes that controlled the striping on the original fruits were on the same chromosomes as the flavor-producing compounds. Demand for Red Delicious apples fell, and what had once been the most popular apple cultivar in the US fell out of favor, and farmers replaced their trees with more in-demand cultivars.
hey so we put your morally grey character in a fandom. yeah half the fanbase makes them into a perfect angel who did nothing wrong and the other half depicts them as a cartoonishly evil villain who hurts people for fun. no we dont know how to explain that people can do bad things for good reasons or good things for bad reasons. sorry man
i need a patch or a dlc or a mod that improves act three. not for any good reasons like the rushed endings or better companion quests, but because i want to see what a more in-depth meeting between orin, gortash, and durge.
like what would those motherfuckers actually say if they were given some more time to cook. orin has some banger lines and interactions, but i want the option to explore this history gortash always mentions.
larian please please please let me wine and dine this hideous rat man, i want to see him whimper.
it’s super gay of gortash to stop his own fucking coronation just to beg the dark urge to rule with him and make an unbreakable oath of fealty to one another until the end of time, like DUDE, you are SURROUNDED by people, they are all WATCHING you make a lovesick fool out of yourself.
Actually has no dignity, eurgh, can’t believe him. He should’ve turned his coronation into a full goddamn wedding.
I’m gonna make damn sure / that you can’t ever leave No, you won’t ever get too far from me
I think if you tried to explain RACK to these two they’d kill you with a rock
(I wanted to use Bane and Bhaal’s symbols as a kind of claim these two might use for each other in their back-and-forth battle of wills and also actual violence) (this swiftly got away from me)
it’s always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there’s just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone’s praises whilst destroying them.
so, this scene from book two continues to ruin me:
Caeden hesitated, his gaze traveling involuntarily to the sword sitting beside the other man.
Alaris saw where he was looking and sighed, rolling his eyes. “El take it, Tal. Really?” He grabbed the sword and before Caeden could react, tossed it irritably at Caeden’s feet. “Better?”
Caeden stared at the blade for a few moments, suspecting a trap even though he couldn’t see how it could possibly be one. Eventually he stooped, picking up the sword. Licanius thrummed in his hands, and kan was suddenly everywhere.
“Why trust me with this?”
“Because I know that you know, deep down, that we’re friends,” said Alaris vehemently, an edge of affectionate exasperation to his tone. “Despite all that’s happened, despite everything, we’re friends. And I don’t care what memories you do or don’t have—you, Tal’kamar Deshrel, would never kill a friend.”
like, whatever else you want to say about their interactions during canon timeline, alaris is genuine here. he’s not lying, he’s not trying to manipulate caeden; he really does believe caeden won’t kill him, or any of the venerate. (he still believed caeden wouldn’t kill him when he knew he’d killed all the rest of their friends, and held licanius to his chest. this is the worst.) they’re very firmly enemies at this point, and yet he does trust him with that.
obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.
ALT
